How should our relationships be with our relatives according to our religion? What is the benefit of being good to relatives in the world?
There are some favors, which God gives its reward in this world life too, and gifts immediate response. This situation is an incentive and indicates the importance of the favor. One of them is visiting relatives and being close to them.One of the companions of the Prophet asks, O! Prophet, who is the best of the people?
The prophet answers that short question;
It is the person who is afraid of God the most, who is the closest to his relations and who is advise goodness and try to take people away from the wickedness.1
The Hadith defines the best man. Good treatment to relatives, being interested with them as much as possible effects character of a person directly make him the best person in the perspective of Islam.
This was the first reward.
We will learn the other one from the blessed sentences of the Prophet:
Abu Hurairah relates The Prophet Muhammad said:
Learn how to do Sıla-i Rahim (visiting relatives) from your elders. Because it is cause of the affection between relatives, abundance in food and increase in life (2)
To do Sıla-ı Rahim, which is an obligatory worship, first, the relatives should be known, and then what kind of favor that should be, to whom and how it should done is explained. Break up of families and mostly each of the relatives living in various cities and towns attract attention on an issue mentioned in the Hadith. We should learn our relatives firstly from our elders and later we should show them our connection and proximity.
As being a believer, how can we show closeness to them, which needs of them can we meet, how can we be useful to them, how can we visit them: going to them in person, by phone, by letter or bayram (religious festivals) cards? We should look into these questions. Later we should do whatever we can.
When we show effort as possible as we can, we can have the mercy and the compassion of God. God strengthen our ties, give abundance to our food blesses our life with fertility.
There is another reward of Sıla-ı Rahim given in this world and that is related with a persons eternal life. The most important issue of a believer is being able to go to the hereafter with his acquittal of religious belief. One of the ways of that is visiting relatives, which is an indication of belief. That is mentioned in a Hadith like that: For the reason of alms and having relations with relatives, God blesses the life, saves him from dying like wicked people and keep him away from all kinds of badness and things which a man must be away from.(3)
As we see, Sıla-ı Rahim is a kind of spiritual shield that saves man from sins and wickedness. God keeps a man away from trouble and evil, who visits a relative just for the sake of God, is good to them and helps them, tries to be useful for them and care for their material and spiritual issues.
At this point, there is an issue that we all complain, Although we visit them as possible as we can, they never respond and visit us, and they dont care for us if we are in trouble This thought and similar ones affect our relation with them negatively and even cause to end it.
An incident took place between the prophet and a companion illuminates the issue. As Abu Hurairah relates, a man came to the Prophet and asked, O! Prophet I have some relations, I visit them but they do not come to me. I am being good to them but they are being bad to me. I am being kind to them; they are being rude to me.
The Prophet Muhammad said to him if you do what you say, you make them eat red hot ashes. What they do is harmful to them. As long as you behave like that, God will help you and protect you from them.(4)
1.et-Tergib ve't-Terhib,4:116.
2.et-Tac, 5:10.
3.et-Tergib ve't-Terhib,4:114.
4.et-Tac, 5:9.
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